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Red Robin- Bruschetta Chicken Burger by Dr. Mary T. Burgers

March 19th, 2009 by maryburgers

Red Robin

Langhorne, PA

$10.95

I had never been to a Red Robin because I had only seen them in Hershey, PA, the land of Terrible Chocolate, but I was intrigued by its gaudy, bright red decor and that it claimed to purvey GOURMET BURGERS AND SPIRITS. Luckily, I had the opportunity to eat’n'review before going all the way to Neshaminy to see the Watchmen movie. I sort of wanted to try the Burnin’ Love Burger but there is no way in hell I am asking anyone for a Burnin’ Love Burger. I didn’t order Moons Over My Hammy the one time I’ve been to a Denny’s since they cleaned them out of Pennsylvania, and I don’t use any of the various sizing systems ridiculous trendy eateries try to trick me into using. You will never hear me asking for a size “Gotta Have It” vanilla ice cream, so don’t even try, Coldstone. This is definitely something I should be telling the whole internet!: I have a weak digestive system so instead of risking Burnin’ Love in the middle of Watchmen, I opted for the Bruschetta Chicken Burger.

I opted for water instead of any of the fancy sodas or lemonades they had, which I kind of regretted because my friend’s lime-ade was delicious. On the plus side, I think a fancy soda would have been ruined by the garlic in my sandwich. The burger was a slab of grilled chicken breast topped with diced tomatos, melted provolone, lettuce, and apparently pesto. The website said it was served on a “rustic ciabatta roll” or something but I guess it was pretty substandard because I usually really buy into that yuppy trendy-bread-of-the-moment thing and their ciabatta was not very memorable at all. It was probably the pesto that was so garlicy– to the point that I didn’t even know it was pesto until I looked it up. I assumed it was guacamole into which someone had accidentally poured an entired bottle of chopped garlic.

The garlic overpowered pretty much everything. For a bruschetta burger, I wanted to taste more tomatoes, olive oil, basil, and vinegar. I think substituting pesto for a really strong bruschetta topping could have worked but I really don’t think I was tasting basil.

Next time I go to a Red Robin, which will likely be never since I’m not going to go all the way out to another county just for that purpose, I would probably opt for an actual burger made out of meat since they claim those to be their specialties. I’d just like to apologize to everyone in Bucks County for the garlic breath I had that night, and everyone in Montgomery County for the garlic breath I had the next day, despite all the teeth-brushing.

3/6 Burgers because it was pretty ok.

6 Responses

Aaron writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 12:09 pm

There’s no space in that name. It’s not “Burnin’ Love Burger” it’s a “Burnin’ Loveburger.” I told Evelyn that and she laughed so hard soda came out her nose and she ran into the bathroom and the waitress saw and asked me WHAT DID YOU DO? as though I had said something terrible.

kcgb writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 1:06 pm

I’ll admit that I was very excited to see a new burger burger post, expecting an entry about a delicious hamburger (especially one about the “exotic” Red Robin). Upon rereading the title my hopes were expertly dashed. It has been over two and a half years since the last Lovely Burger review of a beef burger, and while I found this review to be mildly entertaining, a chicken burger (even in review form) is a poor substitute for a real hamburger.

I give this review a 2/6 Burgers, mainly because you at least mentioned a real hamburger even if you did not actually partake in eating one.

maryburgers writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 1:48 pm

dear sir or madam whom i may or may not have gone to high school with–
you quit my guild.

0/6 burgers

but you can make it up to me by writing a real review!

maryburgers writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Aaron- why are you always causing evelyn bodily harm with your quips

Gloria writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Mary,
I always wanted to go to a Red Robin. Now I am not so enthused about it. You shoulda got a burger, though.

They did not clean all the Denny’ses..there’s one in Langhorne, and in Bloomsburg, and last I checked there was one in Allentown too. I am loyal to Denny’s cos I worked there, but the food’s pretty..meh.

TinyLot writes:

March 19th, 2009 at 4:17 pm

I don’t understand what a bruschetta burger is, especially if it is made of a slab of unminced chicken. I was under the impression that bruschetta was grilled bread, topped with some last minute yummy fresh vegetables such as tomatoes.