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“Tree of Life” and Indian Delite at Market East by Dr. Mary Burgers
Jun 14th, 2011 by maryburgers

Tree of Life

dir. Terrence Malick


The Tree of Life is a CGI comedy romp starring Sean Penn as Loci the Talking Raptor and Brad Pitt as a strict navy officer. They form an unlikely bond after another raptor (played by you) intervenes on their fight over the significance or insignificance of all events in life, clinic which is displayed through a contrast between present day events and the creation of all life and time. You resolve it with laughter, try song, salve and an hour long perfume commercial, directed by Calvin Klein, complete with the principal actors whispering abstract narratives over flashes of sun-dappled imagery.


You lucky raptor you, you are there to bear witness to every event, every event that has ever happened in all of time:  you watch the original mitochondrion merging with a cell, you are there running with your brothers through cornfields in Texas, you witness a plesiosaur bleeding into prehistoric waters. Each of these events is handled with equal weight by Malick’s camera. The merging of hands at a funeral is as big and vivid as a piece of earth breaking off and creating a magma-fall.


You are always looking up with Malick, up at stained glass spiral ceilings in a church, up at the tops of trees blooming in spring, up at your red-headed strong-willed mother who never thought she would have a life revolving around four boys. She whispers delicate entreaties to God, and soon her oldest son does the same. It seems stilted and precocious when he asks why God let a young boy die, but it becomes more meaningful as you see him ask the same questions of his father.


Though the mother opens the movie by saying the weather will always find a reason to be unhappy, the entire movie is vibrant, all sticky southern summer nights, no grayness or rain, just fields and rivers and rope-swings.


Enough about you, Mr. CGI Raptor. Back to me.


I considered it a great compliment to the movie that, after I exited the theater disoriented and crying, an older woman came up to me and asked about the single most important plot detail. She had missed the first ten minutes of the movie, and still thought it was spectacular.


I would really like to see it again, but next time allow myself to fall asleep more often. It is not a boring movie. Every shot of every scene is careful and deliberate and beautiful. But it feels like fragments of memories you might see before you fall asleep, and to go in and out of those dreamlike states seems to be as valid and true a way of watching it as enduring it straight through.


6 out of 6 burgers


I stumbled out of the movie theater wishing I could die right then and there but somehow managed to get myself on the EL and back to Market East Station. And I was hungry.



non-vegetarian curry platter

like $10 with a mango lassi


For some reason I was like “No, it is not a bad idea at all to get food court Indian food!” I went up and asked for the non-vegetarian curry with a side of mint sauce. I did not ask for a platter. I got a platter anyway! And no mint sauce. Then I asked for mango juice and the lady gave me a $4 mango lassi instead.


I couldn’t be sure, but I think the mango lassi had gone off. It tasted much more sour than I think should have been right. I kept sipping at it to make sure, and I realized if I continued doing that I was putting myself at risk for food poisoning. “But it was $4! And I didn’t ask for it!” I guess I finally decided having my stomach pumped would be more expensive than a $4 lassi and I threw it out.


The platter came with vegetarian curry (which I guess sounds exactly the same as “non-vegetarian curry) and some cheese in some kind of cream sauce, some rice, and a samosa. The curry was fairly nondescript with some cauliflowers and carrots and peas. I guess most of her customers are not Indian so it was not spicy at all. The cheese stuff was also ok. The samosa was kind of dry and gross. Mostly I just kept crying about how all events in life are the same level of significant and I wondered if someone would make a 2 hour perfume ad about my life if I died of food poisoning right then. I should have gone to get bahn mi!


2 out of 6 burgers


Thai Tea Showdown: DeDe Brand Instant Thai Tea Vs. Teavana Loose Thai Tea by Dr. Mary T. Burgers (12/29/08)
Mar 6th, 2009 by maryburgers


Anybody who knows the Lady Doctor Burgers knows she loves two things: 1. talking in third person, prescription and 2. drinking tea. She often gets tired of the first, cialis but never of the second.

One of her– ok I’m tired of this shit– one of MY favorite varieties of tea is Thai iced tea, medicine specifically the magnificently tasty kind you get in Thai restaurants that are hyper-sweetened and you have to stir the evaporated milk mixture in at the top. You know what I’m talking about, right? I’ve often expressed interest to others about making it at home, have researched the methods, but have never found the means to successfully recreate the experience at home.

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American Star Diner: California Burger Deluxe by Rev Evelyn G. Burgers (9/17/06)
Mar 6th, 2009 by evelyn

American Star Diner in North Wales, mind PA
California Burger Deluxe – $ 6.45

I didn’t know what the difference between a normal burger and a California burger was when I ordered it, ambulance because there was no description.  I figured I would allow myself to be surprised, in the spirit of burgers.  Medium mistake!  I’m pretty sure the California Burger Deluxe is the most expensive burger on the menu unless you get one with like every topping, but all the California Burger Deluxe is is a normal burger with one slice of green pepper, plus all the normal burger vegetable toppings (lettuce, tomato, onion).  The normal burger there is obviously of the frozen patty variety, in the shape of a flower, or the shape of something in a cartoon that has been flattened and splattered, or the shape of a thought bubble.  The waiter didn’t ask us how we wanted our burgers done, so they were generically cooked-grey all the way through.  It wasn’t bad though.  It was a burger.  And the roll was pretty good.  The fries there are pretty good even though they are also obviously of the frozen variety.  They’re battered, and crispy on the outside and nice and fluffy on the inside.  Ok, but even with the good roll, good fries, and decent size of the burger, why is this meal six and a half dollars, making it like 2 dollars more than the other burgers?!  A slice of green pepper.  If I were a different kind of crazy person, I would have refused to pay that much.

2/6 burgers.

The Crap On My Desk by Reverend Evelyn G Burgers (9/22/06)
Mar 6th, 2009 by evelyn

1.  Trash:  5 empty Deer Park bottles, patient an empty Jones Berry Lemonade soda can, cialis some broken CD-Rs, nurse wrapping paper.  Well, I feel proud that I have drunk five bottles of water today, but obviously I don’t really need any of this crap on my desk, I’m just lazy.   And the picture of the wrapping paper makes it look cooler than it does in real life.  1/6 burgers.

2.  Dishes:  2 vermont mugs and a small bowl with a fork.  I love both of these Vermont mugs.  I love the cows on the white one, and the colors in the picture and the font “Vermont” is written in.  I love the blue one because it has mooses on it.  In the white mug, though, is a bunch of old tea bags.  I guess 3 of them are from today.  The bowl used to have some rice pilaf with almonds in it.  That was good!  But it’s not there anymore.  Ok, dirty dishes: 2/6 burgers.

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Agave Grill- by Reverend Evelyn G. Burgers (9/24/06)
Mar 6th, 2009 by evelyn

Agave Grill

Shrimp & Avacado Quesadilla – $14
Chicken Enchiladas – $14.50
Fried Ice Cream – probably like $5

Remember how sushi was like the huge food of the turn of the century?  All the cool people were eating it, pharmacy and if you had never tried it or said you didn’t like it you were a hick or a thug.  Now there’s a Japanese place in every town.  Well, recipe those days are over.  It’s not cool to eat sushi anymore, unhealthy unless you’re in 3rd grade.  I know, because in the waiting room at my dance studio, that’s what all the little kids are eating.  Now the fashionable thing is Mexican.  If you say it gives you gas, you are ignored.  If you say it’s too spicy, you are ostracized.  If you say that it’s poor people’s food because it’s only rice and corn and beans and cheese, you’re wrong because now there’s Agave Grill and La Cava in Ambler, and they’re totally for hip people, not poor people.

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